Beware of Bitterness

“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” Hebrews 12:11-15 (ESV).

The difficulty with going through trials is that often they involve some type of conflict or betrayal, or they involve a life situation that is out of your control. For the betrayal type of trial, you have to be stabilized by the truth of your identity. When you’re faced with a situation that’s beyond your control, you must trust in God’s sovereignty. Both types are difficult because one challenges your character, while the other challenges your ability to release control.

Notice that verse eleven assumes that you have some pruning to do, which may be true in your trial. Sometimes, there is a small amount of truth in an accusation, which requires a thoughtful response. Other times, there is an internal need for control that must be weeded out and replaced with hopeful trust. That is why in verse twelve, the writer advises you to take a posture of resiliency. Stand up straight! Stop hunching your shoulders! Walk a straight path, using God’s perspective to illuminate your next steps. “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalm 119:105 (ESV). Be honest and truthful with yourself and others, creating a smooth path in front of you. It may not be an easy path, but it will not have any deceitful traps waiting to catch you.

“Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” Hebrews 12:14-15 (ESV). Bitterness is that small, reasonable voice that points out how unjust it is that you are in this situation. Bitterness reminds you that the person who is attacking you or causing this drama is a worse sinner than you. The spirit of bitterness plants seeds of injustice in your heart and waters them with negative thoughts. You may be helping or you might just be allowing the roots to grow deep into your soul. After a few hours or a couple of days, your thinking has become defiled, with anger and irritation flowering from the roots of bitterness. As these blossoms go to seed and float out of your mouth, the hearts and minds of others around you become defiled as well. This is why it says, “strive for peace… and for holiness.” Holiness is set apart and humble. Peace assumes that the relationship is more important than the conflict. Dig up the roots of bitterness with the shovel of loving forgiveness. “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV).

None of this is natural to your flesh, but it is natural to your spirit. This is why bitterness is a fruit of the flesh and forgiveness is produced by your tenderhearted spirit. Choose wisely! Live in grace and forgive. Trust God for the outcomes, while having the mind and mouth of Christ saying, “Father forgive them.”

Prayer: “Dear Heavenly Father, I bring you my attitude and my hurt feelings. I choose to release the injustice and the offense from (person’s name) to Jesus. I choose to forgive (name). As I navigate these difficult circumstances, I will trust in Matthew 6:33 by seeking Your Kingdom and resting in your providential care. In Jesus’s name amen.”